I Will Always Love You

It's hard. Sitting here like this. Because I know I can do so much more for him, but he won't let me into his life again.

We're slowly getting closer again... every time we talk, I feel as though we have created a better bond between us, and things are slowly becoming what they used to. When we broke up, he shut me out of his life. He put up a barrier. He ignored me, pushed me away, wouldn't talk to me about anything; and I know it was because of the break up. He was trying to get away from me. But, that didn't stop me.

I never stopped caring for him, and most importantly, I never stopped loving him. I couldn't. My heart was his, and it was impossible for me not to love him. Even to this day, as I write about him, I still love him. And I always will.

I cared for him through it all. Even when he started to treat me poorly. Even when he began to ignore me. Even when we stopped talking. I still watched over him, and cared for him from afar. I sent him messages asking him how he was doing. I sent him messages checking up on him, and his life. I sent him messages when I knew he was feeling down, trying to cheer him up. I was always there for him.

I wish he would look back, and actually realize how I was always there for him through it all. Through the good times. Through the bad times. When he was depressed or stressed. Having issues with friends or family. When he was alone and no one else was there for him, I was. We broke up almost a year ago now, and I have still made it my job, my priority, my task, to watch over him and help bring him up when he is feeling down. I made sure to check up on him, and make him talk to me. I made sure to let him know, I am always here for him if he needs me. Always. Anytime, anyplace, any circumstance. I will be here for him.

I cherish the moments we talk together, because it happens so rarely as of late. It's hard on me to be away from him like this, but I don't mind it. I don't mind the waiting. Because all the waiting to hear from him, just makes the conversations more worthwhile. And they are. We have fun, a ton of fun. We end up flirting a lot, which may be a bad thing since we aren't together anymore... but I know we both enjoy it. We both just have a lot of fun with it. He may deny it, but the fact that he flirts with me the way he does, just proves a part of him still has feelings for me. A part of him is missing me.

It's this type of fun, that lets me know he needs me in his life. That I need him. We both need each other.

He needs someone to make him laugh, smile, joke, be silly with, and just have a good time. He needs someone positive, optimistic, bubbly, outgoing, caring, sensitive, to keep him from feeling down all the time. Someone who truly cares about him. Listens to him. Is always there for him. Puts him as a higher priority over themselves. And I want to be the one to do that.

I want to be with him, so that every day will be amazing to him. So that he will never have to be alone, or sad ever again. So that he always has someone by his side, to listen to his problems, to comfort him, to support him, to help carry the burden on his shoulders, and bring him back up. I want to be with him so every morning and night, I can ensure that he wakes up and goes to bed with a smile on his face. So that I can make everyday worthwhile. So I can teach him to be positive. To show him how to live every day to the fullest. To remind him... just how truly amazing he really is.

I love him. I can't and won't ever stop loving him. He will always have my heart. And it doesn't matter how he treats me, or what we're going through... because I will always be here to stand by his side, no matter what.

I will always be here waiting for him. And I will wait until he lets me back into his life again, and then I can finally give him the love he deserves.

I love you. I always will.